TO PROSPER

No reason for it all
Just a feeling
it should be

there

but when it’s not
the wonders spread
the how comes
we don’t share

the reason why I felt that way
the reason you are you
the reason you are next to me
when I should be there too

the reason my eyes drift at night
and drift when I don’t dream

the reason I can stop and stare
when you look right at me
the reasons life is not at all
what it has always seemed
the reason I can’t die today
and what this life all means
the reason for my life

has all but shattered blind
the eyes that saw it
tearing up
with red
they flow with wine
eyes that when u see them they are everything
divine

eyes that belong just to you
because your souls entwined

they see no reason to it all
they know the truth as well
they know that life was over
and they know they may as well
be desolated
isolated
pairs that solve a crime
thievery
not so heinous
that he would give his prime

I wished this song….. it would come true

The music in my ears is filled with weeping and with grief
The tune it carries follows with the longing for reprieve
Ever hopeful bulging heart
Contracts with every beat
The heat it carries dwindles off
Burning icy feet
I wish that I was standing there
Winter in my eyes
I wish the summer
Could die off
And I’d be filled with life
I have so many wishes
But no fountain to comprise
A fortune fit
All for the king
Willingly deprived
The poor they know
They know the song
Wishing wells they drink
His magic fades
Memories of days
That he no longer sees
Winter stretches farther
In a world where I am blind
My senses have no use for me
They cast my will aside
For I am just a useless thing
Just wishing for a key
Unlock the beating
Living thing
That has its grasp on me
Enclosed in hand
A chest of sand
It slid all through my teeth
But I’d forever hold it there
If he would just see me.

The Words Could Not Be Pinned~When I Died Yesterday

the colors
the magnificence
of all my eyes could see
the way my heart
it thudded strong
the beauty that was me

it all was new
meant something more
than what life meant to me

the brilliance
of the souless sky
it shined a light in me
I knew I had a gift of trails
in an uncharted sea
uncharted no one's territory
just my thoughts and me
my sea of life
that no one knew
but just my love and me

the words could not be pinned
when my life ended yesterday
and reconstructed a new me

If You Knew Me

throbbing ribs
misplaced your shame
weakened bones
but none are lame

shaking walks
and lengthened lives
so take the metal
while I lie

evidenced
in lesser tales
you can't hide
behind my veil

mistakes are shown
you cover's blown
now I can finally be my own

for with this paint
all on my hands
this once red wall
still couldn't stand

Such is Life

a twist a turn
a new skill
learned
my flesh
knots up
with pain

i wrench it firm
and you in turn
wish you'd remain the same

too bad for life
say C'est la vie
yes you should speak it now
the end of vie
is coming now
your soul will not remain

Acquaintances

complications
never shake the hold
they live inside
and tear the fold
thought to be
all mapped and planned

but life held up
just couldn't stand
the blows of death
the blows of love
incessant tricks
it boils their blood
they love the heat
so will ensue
and barter trade
and we buy you
oblivious to the trader's will

my slave steps farther
till he is killed
a golden coin
and meat is served
no life long work
but one day learned

to never trust
the smiles of friends

for we die slow
by hand of kin

In your Palm I will Remain

fire burning fierce
like the tears

of a widowed woman
~
the reason all but changed
vision swayed
yet stayed the same

its crazy
just to think
the veracity
of our link
could compete

with the hopelessness
of a love lost
but just the cost
and the thought of losing you

grief would all consume
no buts, you're not mistaken

our hearts were not misplaced when
the exchange took place
and the look upon your face

made my heart melt in your hands
incorporated bands

are nothing to my flesh
against your flesh
the melded mesh
onto your prints

and now everywhere you went
you left my scent

my lips they say your name
in my sleep
but you remain
you rule my subconscious mind
you stole my time
and I rewind
everything replays the same
we have the perfect score
you're the winner to my game

and if I'm counted as still sane
in your palm I will remain

Please Don't

blowing trees
they shield my eyes
from all the truth
some of the lies
the lies deceive
i watch this you
the one they changed
became anew

The silent breeze
it fades a hew
the color changed
of me and you

two more emerge
and they're so blue
we lie to hide
the endless truth

the crushing pains
the endless strains
and all you do is take away

I've seen the dreams
the warnings heed
oh please
take seed
implant your teeth
gushing blood
please make her bleed

I've seen her dreams
yes they are there
here in my head
i see her stare
i see this place
i see my face
i tease and break
and clean the trace

if only you could see my truth
where you lied to me
and i killed you

Study Skills

straining just to hear my thoughts
i wish that i could blame
i wish that my words weren't lost
i wish that they would stay

im straining just to keep control
over what i cannot say
i wish that i could see my words
that you wouldn't go away

but ink it drips
all through the cracks
the letters are all blurred
the light has no distinction
and your voice is all but slurred

i wish i had just one excuse
the reason this is me
the only thing i think of now
is how i came to be

maybe one inspection
and my thoughts would be set free
just a little cut
i'll take just a little peak

into the abyss
the black hole even
of just what i could be

i'll plan it oh so careful
i'll whisper so softly
just i case
there's a mistake
and i bleed more heavily

i'll just write this little note
an walk so quiet to the fridge
i'll paste it with my magnet
my favorite little sin

is to get out of bed at night
while my parents are asleep
a rush runs up my spine
the quieter i creep

i sat down in the bathtub
with the blade in my right hand
just in case i make a mess
cuz my parents couldn't stand

the smallest drop
onto their floor
i just want to take a peak
so then maybe i'd know more

i took every precaution
just in case i locked the door

then tomorrow i'd be ready
for more and even more
then just my fifth grade crct
i could get a perfect score

A Meaningful Existence

i have too many answers
and not one to fit my thoughts
i have too many questions
never answered you never taught

i stayed in class all day
all my life
i sat down
stayed
studied till my ears rang
but the result never changed

my head explodes with nothing
too much nothing in this space
too much nothing clouds my mind
you were something in my eyes

i hate this nothing in my heart
this empty voided world
this meaningless existence
i wish my life would run its course

the sky is blue for nothing
no reason it should be
we destroyed what makes us happy
its so easy just to bleed
but we cant see our world die
we're so selfish
so much pride

no it couldn't be us it wouldn't
who is this
who told us all these lies

they conspire on our name
against our wealth
against our fame
they conspired to deplete us
so they start a rumor saying

that we should change our way of life
that we should end our ways
its we who will deplete us

its just that we are scared to change

Butterflies

the blackness on my nail
an the tears in my eyes
the wrinkles on my skin
the falseness of my pride

the vibrations in my voice
the vagueness of my choice
i wish i would consider
that i cant hear my own noise

the colors in my range
they're all smudged they stay the same
the brown thats in my eyes
its a mixture of the same

i wrote down all my thoughts
the ones i'd maybe have
if i didn't think so hard
and understood my plot

i took into consideration
maybe i'm alive
then again
just maybe not

maybe twist and turn my knot
just a little harder still
wring the wetness out

my chills

wring the knot out in my throat
in my chest
wash me with soap

the sickness in my gut
cut it out
and clean the blood
i want not one trace of me

not for anyone to see

no even me

A blinded eye

the blood washed down her brow
and she wondered
blinked her eye

it was blinded by the sight
of her insides

the stain it broke her flesh
she saw all that she had left
not much but just a few

broken pieces left of you
shattered bare there on the floor
no torn attire
just the flesh
and nothing more

broken pieces there
of you
blinded eye
she's just confused
a blinded eye
no longer used

and just the blackness
left
consumes

the broken pieces on the floor
all thats left of you
no more

To Leave

i wish it was that easy

and if i did the same
i'd run the field
my game
never hesitate
tell me how u like my name?

they way they call it
never ending
spoofs
an then u stall it

i stake my claim
no daunting fame
or infamy my way

yet you still shudder
chills they spark a fire
i shut my mouth
before your heat
explodes my thunder

my spark cries out
worse than yours

but i don't strike your blunder
tell me once
you're not the dunce
the one i used to hate

but once forgave
it looked my way
my stomach curled

fate?

never more
than an irritating sore
that once was part of me

an now you change
to be the same
you wash yourself in sea

Addiction

i think i found the cure
i will indulge
im addicted for a reason

her words said no
so
i thought i'd show her
how far this reach could go
played with a mind
so far from prime
the drug in her
it showed

i though i'd teach
a lesson
preach
before i had my go
my turn to share
in the despair

she tried to slow
the blow

then maybe
i'd share
and show i cared
about her thoughts
she reached

far into me
the throne she seeked
she tried her trick in me

i was her pawn
from there she'd spawn
a new humanity

one that wouldn't care
for a fair share
but just enough
that day

i tried to prick
my finger slipped
she slapped my wrist
a babe

could not contain
the newborn strain
her eyes were red with pain

create a slave
no candy cane
but white all washed with red

the drug it spread
her pulse went dead
the stainless carpet wept

The Amp for My Guitar

you tried to stay alive
when they cornered you

the spies

tried to take your life
all they left was just despised
they were jealous of the fact
you were unmistaken in our act

your vision it so drew the crowd
your shadow crowds my track

i simmer in the background
'cause they yell for you once more

the spies they lied
they tried critique
they thought they'd boost their score

their thoughts include themselves
you might wish that yours would too

you might find the right solution
then you'd add a spy
one more

to their battalion
and they'd demolish all that could endure
and stake a claim
unto their name

'till no one could compare
they'd bet you and they'd stare

because it's you who

who'd win the dare

Alternate Reality

the clouds they swirl
the seas stay still
my mind is blank
no thrills

take no chances
steal no glances

but you dont mistake me still

and though your arms are cold
and your expression shows so ill

the wrinkles and the wear
are not enough to hide
your stare

and a passing shock
wont stop the flock

of kisses on your sill

a beckon call
of hearts that fall
onto the ground
at will

to see your soul
under the fold

of universes changed
a beacon's range
for better days

we'll always find our way

Confusion Nothing Less

what you offer me
i take without a question
humbly

i refuse the greatest
I'd rather take the lesser

you prod and poke
you beg me
still
i am my own progressor

you offer me
i know the cost
an you'd expect no less

then me to accept graciously
and hold myself
in jest

I'd service you
if you could prove
that you were just the best

but in my mind
i am the prize

Confusion nothing less

DEATH-HAHAHA.... lol

to me death means the end of suffering
the end of a trial, the end of anything
so if i talk about death in a poem it doesn't necessarily mean someone dies
it is juss the end of something
or the end of the poem

EXPAND YOUR MINDS PEOPLE!!!!!!!!

A Compass

polarity
comparing me
as left is to the right

you're daring me
he stares at me

controls me with his eyes
peripheral
my vision slows

blinking
close my eyes

the spell is stalled
he took my all
until our gaze is met

you steer me with
your vehement

your slicing stare it kills

my hair stands on my neck

while the camera snaps the stills

like a statue

courage wrecked

and fear it grips

with chills

apprehensive

fear it lesser

if you told me how you feel

Enslaved

my thoughts they just unravel
if you don't guide me on my quest

my heart is filled with gravel
weighs so heavy in my chest

my thoughts could not conceive control
the power you possess

to feed my aura
energy
till i can never rest

until your heart's right next to mine
your breath it mocks my breath

my mission to ensure a slave
our life paid for by death

The Golden Earth

In a world of bliss
they dance along the golden grass
we framed the other side as if
we knew the song

they loved the fact
we left our life

forfeit

and we waved our flag
so much too much
effort
discipline not opposed by us
but not taught

and now we hang our heads
an listen to the deafening silence

the death of our world

the limbs they bend their arms

outstretched they beg for help
as they dance along the golden grass
that once was green

repent?

too late they mock an flash their prize
the future of the golden earth?

we rot till our demise

Do You Regret the HELP?

well it just seems to me
you're only hurting yourself
I'm just so got damned talented
and you immerse yourself
now you're waist deep
don't turn back now
you'll only hurt yourself

Laps against the small of your back
and you regret the HELP
hair stands on end
there seems to lack
the humane sense of heat
breath so ice cold
and now behold
that there's no turning back



~Ashley M. Carter~

Get So Lucky

would you love it
i should ask you
i could die right now
i would love it, tell me HONEY
should i suicide now?
but its public...
can you give me something merciful now?
power strikes me
is it possible to have a drive now
i could do it
get so lucky
as to slide right down
crash me lucky
get so lucky
i should drive right now


bet you'd love it
you'd be lucky
if i died right now

~ Ashley M. Carter~

An Autumn Eye- Lashes Fall

i see i am
so so alone
voices sound but still so cold
blurring
lashes fall
into my eyes
I DONT CRY
it's just those lashes
fall in my eyes
autumn breeze
blows them away
please come
come out
but i Don't play
Fall in my eyes

~Ashley M. Carter~

I Spiral

spiral into nothingness
my heart sticks just like glue
because it cannot be opened
by anyone but you
my eyes are swollen shut
but i have more behind my head
'cause i see into them
while you mistake me for dead
you wish you would
you wish you would
now don't you
you should say
because i see into you
no you can't hide from me
but silence adds to nothingness
and life is short of meaning
so we stay silent
love's degraded
to something short of meaning
and we live life
a meaningless existence
'cause my life's short of you.

~Ashley M. Carter~

Stationary Son

you cannot fathom
what is me
i cannot change
what others see
bottles float
the paper wastes
the truth is lost
a son is gone

i cannot fathom
who is me
you cannot change
my vision sees
you're stationary
i write on you
you still can't see
whats under you



~Ashley M. Carter~

HELLO.... HELLO....

HELLO! HELLO!
i'm standing there, i thought you said you need me
HELLO! HELLO!
i'm standing here, is it so hard to see me?
HELLO! HELLO!
im on your time, i see im worth a Penny
Discarded on Deserted streets and ragged clothes confuse them
HELLO!.. hello?... are you ok?
and now i just amuse them
My Baby said he loves me
As i Stumble down the street
My Baby said he loves me
moth eaten shoes cover my feet
my baby said he loves me
.... and as he drives down the main street......
I SCREAM at him HELLO! HELLO!
and he drives right on past me

~Ashley M. Carter~

Don't Forget

well i thought i told you one day before
maybe it was just a dream but i thought it was more
i thought you said you wouldn't lie i thought you said much more
than what you showed me, i never lied when i told you your score
so when you stab me in the back the pain is maximized
cuz everything you said was crap
the pain stays in my eyes

yea you said you won't forget
i should have known it then
the movie that you made for me was only just pretend


~Ashley M. Carter~

........ %JUST KNOW DAT%

pain so exponential
drain
me so substantial
that i could never feign
existence
loneliness irradicated
only when you play

~Ashley M. Carter~

WASTE AWAY

love dies, cuz it dies
it wishes to die, begs me for
painless merciful more,
be me beg me beg me beg beg
beg to die with them, and you cry
waste time
waste days
waste months
waste years
waste away waste away waste away waste away
wat is selfishness, beg for mercy no more pain?
then im a selfish bitch and i wish the pain away.
i waste away over this bullshit
i wanna waste away


~Ashley M. Carter~

how can i

how can i tell you without telling you
well this is how i start:

i love the way you hit me
and how i came to park
i love it when you lie to me
and how you stop and stare
and slice me with those blades of eyes
thats how i know you care
i love the way you torture me
and take her from my view
i love the way you hate me just as much as i hate you

~Ashley M. Carter~

a ufo

i wish......
an the sound explodes my thoughts
i forgot
now how can you reimburse me?
tell me please
so priceless
my dreams
come to me
an you snatch them away
without one thought
towards me
or the realness of your deed

so how can i
shoot this down
this foreign object in my thoughts
your voice in my head
i wish that it was dead
along with your soul
your heart

till behold

you are no longer there
an my thoughts flow so free
there's no more use for these
endless poetries
i will have peace

In Hiding

Today was a bad day

I died today

I watched my life from the sky

And my soul died

My body was blind

To true feelings

The signs

I got from my dreams

Fueled my being

And she flew flew away

Till her heart touched the sky

And she died

And You think You're so Smart

So how did you do it?

Tell me once more

Guide me

And teach me

Tell me my score

Grade me my work

And I sell you my skill

The way I just fooled you

I gave you my frill

My pride and my gussie

And all of my thrills

Just for a class

Of your infamous

tricks

If You Hinder My Vision

The whisps of a hair across my face

Not mine

blood and the remains of one

from whom life was stripped

And my dense demeanor remains

In her place

Never will there be another

Golden hair across my face

And I throw

a decapitated frame away

My heart in his chest... and my lips on his neck

no one can ever understand
the span of my life on his trek
my heart in his chest
and my lips on his neck
you'd think i'd be found out before he caught debt

his thoughts to console
and my hands to unfold
a secret to never repent

i would love him till death
And my punishment met
and my jail time would hinder his trek
through death valley he holds
my heart in his soul
his punishment never was met

VOLUNTEER!

VOLUNTEER!
Current mood: ready for change
Category: Blogging

so many people died
so many die everyday
why can't they see there is so much more to life like........:


global warming
cutting down trees
teen pregnancy
and
STDs. o_0



They just make my heart warm with CUTE little fuzzies. :)


SUICIDE IS NOT THE WAY!


Step in and help your community!



~Ashley M. Carter~

Do I Meander Until I Am Worthless...?

Do I Meander Until I Am Worthless...?
Current mood: silly stupid... like duh! but you still don't get
Category: Writing and Poetry

i think i am worth it now
or do i meander
until i am worthless
value shrinks considerably
yes i am worth it now

let's just encounter
others infallible

i guess i am worth it now

no you have to walk up and down on those streets for you to be worth or around
you have to be an impeccable creep

I think i am worth it now
or do i meander until i am worthless

then i'd be worth it no doubt


~Ashley M. Carter~

the ants go marching......

the ants go marching......
Current mood: artistic
Category: Blogging

down the line not one will stray
the sickest breath
but none will break
inhale they must, or live today
the way they fear
and dream away.

they cast aside
the one they hope
to someday follow
they prod and poke

though they already see

the impending mutiny

they watch and wait

so hope can reverse the crippling

effect

uniformity has.

~Ashley M. Carter~

one fluid.... ANSWER

one fluid.... ANSWER
Current mood:wistful
Category: Writing and Poetry

why can't i extend
my thoughts
all into one
fluid... answer

why can't i say what's on mind
without you having to decipher?

well... if i write what's in my head, like I'm doing right now
my thoughts get all scrambled n tangled
cuz every little piece of you
clouds my mind
and any little thought of you
grabs onto a floating
whimsical DREAM and takes over

until you
are all i think about


~Ashley M. Carter~

Mother

Mother
Current mood:wistful
Category: Writing and Poetry

even though you're scatter-brained
and hair stands out on end
you're polished prim
while others prime and cover up their skin
i know you, you just don't know
that i am so inclined
to muster up the courage
just to say what's on my mind

my head falls off
without a bite
a laugh instead could kill
just to hug my mother
it is more than just a thrill

~Ashley M. Carter~

bury your past in my backyard

bury your past in my backyard
Current mood: evil
Category: Parties and Nightlife

....the dirt in our CLAWS
they jump from all bounds
bonded out
the bonds were broken
an you understand in the mind
now in the ground
and your hair is matted
while you gasp to breathe

im sorry i thought you were DEAD

you love with everything inside of you
then inside of you is dead
give up the rest

take your REST



~Ashley M. Carter~

Obsession

Ugh.... Obsession il1 only
Current mood: apathetic
Category: Writing and Poetry

....I must believe
you are naive
an so stucc on wat was

like OH MY MOTHER EFFIN GOSH
i wish they'd pull the plug
your pleas a whisper
in my ear
i thought that he was oh so dear
near to your heart

but i must say

i must be nearer
cuz everyday
you sit an think why does she care
how can she dare
whats oh so FAIR

baby honey sugar plum
I DONT LOVE HIM
i never begun

~Ashley M. Carter~

Do I Know

Do I Know
Current mood: dirty
Category: Writing and Poetry

....i feel so evil
heard my sound
detested
gross my own self out

i know that i am wrong to wish
pain on an innocent
would-be friend

but my hoarsness
softly pains my soul
open.... and nothing
can pass the threshold

i do not speak
he does not move
deliverance
it will never come
my pain will never come undone

no one will ever know the truth
how you feel about me
how i felt about you

~Ashley M. Carter~

Sarcasm

Sarcasm
Current mood: confused
Category: Writing and Poetry

....Sporadically
without a reason
thoughts consume me
a lover's season
they parade around
smirks on their faces
still losing battle
leaves me complacent

how can we be
so honestly
in love

while treacherous fights wont cease
their suffering

it carries on
my patience thins
and we decide
to live in sin
while gods of time
change love sublime
and shut the dungeon
for all time

leaves they fall
and flowers bloom
the cold steel ends
a lover's gloom

the tortuous path
it weaves a web
lies and deceit
you lie in bed
while it lies in wait
for summertime
to start anew
and end our lives

and still we win
cause at the end
the bestest love
started with sin

~Ashley M. Carter~

A Pendulum

A Pendulum
Current mood: pessimistic
Category: Writing and Poetry

....malicious acts
i lash out fierce
a blade but only
words can pierce

just tell the truth
i beg of you

and you'll lessen the blow
i'm forced to endure

while you steady lift the weight off one
the pendulum spun
i'm on the run
the hole it grows
i fall down faster

gravity rips through the air
i gasp for
more and more
you choke it out
till i take no more
the blood it clouds
my pupils

i see
nothing but you
my life, my death
my heart pursues

~Ashley M. Carter~

ride or DIE

ride or DIE
Current mood: uncomfortable
Category: Writing and Poetry

....i do not wish the pain away
for once.......
i welcome it with open arms

~

every warning i head
with warm unanimity
unwavering affection
towards my
wholesome inperfection

i bite down hard on brick
cause i like the way it feels

slow grown dominatrix
away from flesh he peels
her skin until
all is revealed

and nothing is concealed

run into burning fire
for more succulent desire
burn his mark into my soul
and although he is a liar

please don't ever leave my side
i'll cut my heart out
for the ride

~Ashley M. Carter~