In your Palm I will Remain

fire burning fierce
like the tears

of a widowed woman
~
the reason all but changed
vision swayed
yet stayed the same

its crazy
just to think
the veracity
of our link
could compete

with the hopelessness
of a love lost
but just the cost
and the thought of losing you

grief would all consume
no buts, you're not mistaken

our hearts were not misplaced when
the exchange took place
and the look upon your face

made my heart melt in your hands
incorporated bands

are nothing to my flesh
against your flesh
the melded mesh
onto your prints

and now everywhere you went
you left my scent

my lips they say your name
in my sleep
but you remain
you rule my subconscious mind
you stole my time
and I rewind
everything replays the same
we have the perfect score
you're the winner to my game

and if I'm counted as still sane
in your palm I will remain

Please Don't

blowing trees
they shield my eyes
from all the truth
some of the lies
the lies deceive
i watch this you
the one they changed
became anew

The silent breeze
it fades a hew
the color changed
of me and you

two more emerge
and they're so blue
we lie to hide
the endless truth

the crushing pains
the endless strains
and all you do is take away

I've seen the dreams
the warnings heed
oh please
take seed
implant your teeth
gushing blood
please make her bleed

I've seen her dreams
yes they are there
here in my head
i see her stare
i see this place
i see my face
i tease and break
and clean the trace

if only you could see my truth
where you lied to me
and i killed you

Study Skills

straining just to hear my thoughts
i wish that i could blame
i wish that my words weren't lost
i wish that they would stay

im straining just to keep control
over what i cannot say
i wish that i could see my words
that you wouldn't go away

but ink it drips
all through the cracks
the letters are all blurred
the light has no distinction
and your voice is all but slurred

i wish i had just one excuse
the reason this is me
the only thing i think of now
is how i came to be

maybe one inspection
and my thoughts would be set free
just a little cut
i'll take just a little peak

into the abyss
the black hole even
of just what i could be

i'll plan it oh so careful
i'll whisper so softly
just i case
there's a mistake
and i bleed more heavily

i'll just write this little note
an walk so quiet to the fridge
i'll paste it with my magnet
my favorite little sin

is to get out of bed at night
while my parents are asleep
a rush runs up my spine
the quieter i creep

i sat down in the bathtub
with the blade in my right hand
just in case i make a mess
cuz my parents couldn't stand

the smallest drop
onto their floor
i just want to take a peak
so then maybe i'd know more

i took every precaution
just in case i locked the door

then tomorrow i'd be ready
for more and even more
then just my fifth grade crct
i could get a perfect score

A Meaningful Existence

i have too many answers
and not one to fit my thoughts
i have too many questions
never answered you never taught

i stayed in class all day
all my life
i sat down
stayed
studied till my ears rang
but the result never changed

my head explodes with nothing
too much nothing in this space
too much nothing clouds my mind
you were something in my eyes

i hate this nothing in my heart
this empty voided world
this meaningless existence
i wish my life would run its course

the sky is blue for nothing
no reason it should be
we destroyed what makes us happy
its so easy just to bleed
but we cant see our world die
we're so selfish
so much pride

no it couldn't be us it wouldn't
who is this
who told us all these lies

they conspire on our name
against our wealth
against our fame
they conspired to deplete us
so they start a rumor saying

that we should change our way of life
that we should end our ways
its we who will deplete us

its just that we are scared to change

Butterflies

the blackness on my nail
an the tears in my eyes
the wrinkles on my skin
the falseness of my pride

the vibrations in my voice
the vagueness of my choice
i wish i would consider
that i cant hear my own noise

the colors in my range
they're all smudged they stay the same
the brown thats in my eyes
its a mixture of the same

i wrote down all my thoughts
the ones i'd maybe have
if i didn't think so hard
and understood my plot

i took into consideration
maybe i'm alive
then again
just maybe not

maybe twist and turn my knot
just a little harder still
wring the wetness out

my chills

wring the knot out in my throat
in my chest
wash me with soap

the sickness in my gut
cut it out
and clean the blood
i want not one trace of me

not for anyone to see

no even me

A blinded eye

the blood washed down her brow
and she wondered
blinked her eye

it was blinded by the sight
of her insides

the stain it broke her flesh
she saw all that she had left
not much but just a few

broken pieces left of you
shattered bare there on the floor
no torn attire
just the flesh
and nothing more

broken pieces there
of you
blinded eye
she's just confused
a blinded eye
no longer used

and just the blackness
left
consumes

the broken pieces on the floor
all thats left of you
no more

To Leave

i wish it was that easy

and if i did the same
i'd run the field
my game
never hesitate
tell me how u like my name?

they way they call it
never ending
spoofs
an then u stall it

i stake my claim
no daunting fame
or infamy my way

yet you still shudder
chills they spark a fire
i shut my mouth
before your heat
explodes my thunder

my spark cries out
worse than yours

but i don't strike your blunder
tell me once
you're not the dunce
the one i used to hate

but once forgave
it looked my way
my stomach curled

fate?

never more
than an irritating sore
that once was part of me

an now you change
to be the same
you wash yourself in sea

Addiction

i think i found the cure
i will indulge
im addicted for a reason

her words said no
so
i thought i'd show her
how far this reach could go
played with a mind
so far from prime
the drug in her
it showed

i though i'd teach
a lesson
preach
before i had my go
my turn to share
in the despair

she tried to slow
the blow

then maybe
i'd share
and show i cared
about her thoughts
she reached

far into me
the throne she seeked
she tried her trick in me

i was her pawn
from there she'd spawn
a new humanity

one that wouldn't care
for a fair share
but just enough
that day

i tried to prick
my finger slipped
she slapped my wrist
a babe

could not contain
the newborn strain
her eyes were red with pain

create a slave
no candy cane
but white all washed with red

the drug it spread
her pulse went dead
the stainless carpet wept